The Power of Baking

I have such strong memories of baking with my mom when I was little. Christmas was a massive push to produce huge quantities of cookies, tarts, Christmas cakes and wonderful bars and treats.  I really don't know why we needed so much when the only ones sharing goodies over the holidays were my mom, dad and me plus an uncle and aunt. I loved the excitement of baking and holiday cooking and I loved that special time with my busy working mom.

My Mother-in-law was famous for her baking. Her style was to produce tons of stuff all year round and always had the freezer stuffed. Company over? She just pulled some margarine container of cookies from the freezer. Come Christmas time she dipped into all the containers and produced lovely trays to put on her dining room table or to take to the various charity groups she supported.

When our kids were growing up we tried to bring all of the above into our traditions and added in treats and baking that were particular to our family. I took courses in making fancy cakes and I considered baking to be my hobby. I collected cookbooks, and I have more shapes of baking pans and fun tools than one would believe possible. They make me smile.

This week I feel a desperate urge to bake everything. I want to bake with my family and pass down the recipes. I want to share treats and give gifts of goodies to friends. Sometimes it is fun and sometimes it feels more like work and the cost of ingredients can get away on you.  Sometimes all the dirty baking dishes can get away on you!
 I am really busy and over committed right now and I don't have the energy for it.  I sure don't need all the calories that those lovely chocolaty treats come with. Common sense tells me the grocery store\s bakery has it covered. My daughters say lets make this favorite food or that favorite cookie. My Grandkids usually make gingerbread house with me however I haven't visited with them in weeks. Despite all this I still want to be baking!


For a while there I was physically unable to do much baking and cooking and it shot right up to the top of my rehab priorities. I worked with my occupational therapist on regaining my cooking skills and in fact I still have the goal sheets where we worked out what I wanted to accomplish and brought it down to my SMART goals.

 It was absolutely the right goal for me at the time and it worked on all those damaged skills.. hand control, planning, order of operation for activities and it even worked on my stamina! It was a useful skill. It was familiar. It was part of having a normal life. What I have recently come to understand is how complicated the idea of a "relevant" goal is.

The ladies and gentlemen in the personal care homes always enjoy the baking programs we do. For most people it is not about trying to get back skills like I was doing in rehab, but it is indeed about regaining a little bit of their former life.
Baking programs are a fun social event shared with others. The smell of the  ingredients, the act of stirring and pouring all have this sense of connecting us with a different time. The smell of the food baking and the taste of the food is evocative of the past. It is a sensory joy.
It brings us memories of shared times with family and a pride in producing and sharing something of value.  It is connecting our now with our past and giving us a sense of continuity.

When we bake we share our stories and tell about who we are.

I'm Back!

Hello!

It has been months since I blogged.  My last post  included the cliff hanger that I had received a termination notice for my job.

Yippee! I get to stay in my same job!  I had a term job while a staff person was away on maternity leave. When she decided not to return to her former position the situation changed and eventually my little part-time job turned into a permanent job. I am at work about 26 hours every two weeks plus an extra shift every once in a while.

When I thought my job was over I applied for another job as a casual employee at a different Personal Care Home and I got that job too. It is like being a substitute teacher. I get called to see if I can come in to work when regular recreation staff are on vacation or off sick. It is not ultimately a lot of hours but I am really enjoying working there too.

The other things I do each week include facilitating a weekly Art Group at the Stroke Recovery Association of Manitoba, participating in a local community choir and I am still involved with Girl Guides.  I enjoy time with family and friends and I keep trying to learn new things. 

Guitar lessons are on the back burner for now. It just felt like too much for this year but I am not giving up permanently.  I dug out a book of beginner Christmas carols and I am playing and singing away when no one is at home with me except the dog!

I still spend a lot of time really exhausted and I have a lot of joint trouble now but I keep going anyway. I am trying to be very careful how I move and trying to pace myself. It is hard though because my heart and mind wants to try everything and do everything but my body keeps saying "Enough is enough!".

I have worried a lot about what to do with this blog.

The fact is that I am not all that up front at work or in professional situations about my health, my recovery experiences or my level of disability. I am not ashamed of who I am or what I have experienced but most of the time I feel like it is just too much work to explain my life to people. I also don't want to be judged and I don't want people second guessing my professionalism or my ability to do a good job based on the fact that I have had a brain injury.

I strongly believe in advocacy for the rights of people with disabilities or special health needs and I have felt very ashamed about my unwillingness to  be open and speak up for myself.  I was worried that other Recreation Professionals would only see my weaknesses and that no one would hire me and give me a chance to show my strengths.

I have learned a lot about health, recreation and therapy in the past couple of years and I do want to share what I have learned. I have thought a lot about opening a separate blog with ideas about Therapeutic Recreation but I think being true to myself  means that I should just keep going forward with this beloved blog of mine.  I want to continue to share my personal story but I also plan to write about a broader variety of recreational and leisure activity topics, health conditions and community resources. I want to share some of the fun activities I am involved in. 

The title of my blog still works for me.
I still want to write about Leading a Healthy Life.

What Next?

 I checked my email yesterday and opened one from my boss and there it was--- 4 weeks notice of the termination date for my part time job.

I have always known that my job is a term position related to someone's maternity leave. The leave is almost over and changes are going to happen. I knew it was a short term position and thought of it as an excellent way to get real life experience after doing the training. This job has been very rewarding and I have enjoyed my work, spending time with my co-workers and I am really sad that this is coming to an end. I admit it was physically harder than I expected largely due to the issues related to the building. I have pushed and pushed, gone up and down stairs, dragged, lifted and twisted. You know what? It has gotten easier over the past year.

I previously thought I had gotten as far as I could with physical rehab. It seems that working in a 9 story building, where you can't always wait for the elevator, encourages a whole lot of exercise that I would never have chosen to do for myself. On the other hand my neuro and muscle work related improvement is meeting a spot where my age and years of walking funny have damaged my joints. I am going to physiotherapy as needed  and it helps.

Jasper resting at the cottage after a long day of play.

What next?

I follow a wonderful blog The Murphy Saga and the amazing and inspiring author recently wrote :

I've got a choice to either stew over it and be miserable until it consumes me, or I can get busy adjusting to my new life.

 What a powerful approach to dealing with change!

First my husband and I are going on a two week vacation and taking time to have an adventure and enjoy a break away from it all.

I will start to apply for jobs again. I probably should have started much sooner but I was enjoying being settled into this life. I am optimistic that I will find another part time job .. hopefully a permanent one!

Maybe I will take some more courses, maybe I will actually spend time practicing guitar maybe do some different type of volunteering. There are so many new things out there that I could try out..

or

 Maybe I should follow Jasper's lead and just take more time to nap.