We Love our Lake Cottage Life

We have owned our Lake Cottage for 37 years now, and we still love it.  We opened it up yesterday, and it truly feels like coming home when we pull up to the dock.

 It is not a very fancy place. We have the only cottage located on a tiny island in a gorgeous river/ lake system that is about a 2-hour drive north of our home. It is only a short distance from the mainland shore with other cottages, but the only way to actually get to our island is by boat. We rent a dock on the mainland at a tourist campground.  We arrange to leave the boat there over the winter and in the summer we park the boat at a dock, and when we are there, we leave our car in their parking area. We own the cottage itself and pay taxes to the local municipality, but the property is technically that of the government, and we have a permanent lease with the provincial government. It is considered to be on a navigable waterway because it is an island, and that changes the status of the property so that it can not be owned outright by us.

The cottage itself is rather primitive, and it's showing it's age. We purchased it for a good price off a man who had kind of pieced it together with odds and end of reclaimed construction materials that don't really make a cohesive look to the place, but we always found it kind of fun and funky. We have a lot to do to keep up the repair but Bob, my husband, is fantastic at keeping everything going one way or another. In our first years out there, he set up a solar electrical system with a small back up generator. The stove is propane, the toilet is a composting one, and our primary source of heat in the cooler months is a fireplace. 

Going to cottage country is being discouraged by the provincial government right now because of COVID19. We were careful to follow the recommendations they made that if you did go out you needed to be prepared and minimize your contact with others and try not to utilize their local health care system. We went out there with everything we needed and did not interact with anybody. Heck, we didn't even see anyone on this long weekend Monday!

 Our immediate family, despite some ups and downs,  has done pretty well with being quarantined.

We think that this cottage where we have spent so much time over the years is so isolated that we are kind of used to keeping ourselves occupied and we can be quite self-sufficient. I also think we have learned to spread out and give each other some physical space when needed. The cottage truly is a sanctuary where you can listen to the loons and songbirds, hear waves against the rocks and learn to relax in your own thoughts.

Music and Brain Injury

Last night I was reading a post on a Facebook board for Therapeutic Recreation directors asking about how best to use music to help people who have had traumatic brain injuries. I actually got kind of worked up reading the responses. I felt that people might not be recognizing the difference between the needs of people experiencing dementia and those with TBI. 

I wrote a short answer to that post but really I have a lot to say on the topic. Music is so much more than entertainment. It is part of who we are, a part of our experiences and what we remember. It is what some of us marched to, what we danced to at our weddings, and what we sang as we rocked our babies.

I have always loved music and grew up with it around me. My dad played piano and I started piano lessons when I was in grade two. I was always singing and I even met my husband when we were both members of our high school choir. Our four children all took music lessons and I can't begin to add up the hours of lessons, and concerts we took part in.

After I had the brain injury I developed a love / hate relationship with sound. Music and sounds had a horrible effect on me. I was very easily overwhelmed by movement and noise. The sound of music made me nauseous and dizzy and any kind of beat seemed to kick that constant headache I was feeling into high gear.  The more the music, the less I was able to focus and the more disjointed my memory and thinking became. I cried because I was missing music that had loved and I cried because music had the ability to incapacitate me even  further than I already was.

As time went by my physical and occupational therapists started to do things like adding sound and music to sessions and trying to get me to tolerate the music. A lot of therapy for dizziness is in the category of .. " You are not going to like this.. but we are going to take you to the point of being dizzy and then back it down a bit so we can build up your tolerance. Don't worry I will jump out of the way when you start to throw up!". Yes it is absolutely that horrible and you have to keep going back over and over for more torture, also called VRT or Vestibular Rehabilitation Therapy, if you want any chance of having a life outside your bedroom.

Gradually music, in small doses, became one of  my greatest therapy helps. I started guitar lessons and I am sure I would not have regained such full use of my hand if I had not worked so very hard to get my hand moving on that guitar.  What I did not realize at the time was what a big impact the music was having on helping me recover some of my cognitive skills, especially my memory and sequencing of tasks.

My husband and I joined a community choir and there I was - out of the house doing something new and something other than therapy sessions. It was social, it was a new kind of learning and it felt encouragingly like a normal person kind of thing to do.

 

As I began my journey toward becoming a Recreation Therapist it was arranged that I would volunteer at the Misericordia Hospital. One volunteer position was helping with the spiritual care, mainly transporting people, handing out music and singing my little heart out with the residents during services. The other main job was assisting in a group program led by a music therapist who came weekly to the attached personal care home. The music was so powerful in both programs and what joy it brought to the residents!

I must admit that I personally don't do that much with music when I am at work at the personal care home. I have lots of opportunity when I could choose to run a music programs, but I rarely do. I think I value the role of music so much that I don't think I can live up to my own standards for this kind of program. This issue is apparently something I currently need to work on. I either better get to be a better musician or get over my perfectionist tendencies when it comes to the topic. I will have to report back about my progress in the future.

 I wrote in a previous post about singing a karaoke song at an event at the Stroke Recovery Association of Manitoba. That incident was very powerful for me in terms of mental and emotional health. The song I picked from the list of choices was the Beetles song, Blackbird. I was really scared to sing publically but I did it and felt so brave. When I finished there was no missing that I had an impact on the other people there. At first I thought they didn't like my singing or that the song was a bit too much. No, what happened is I had hit on a common emotion and wish for the group. It was what brought us together. We were all longing for the freedom of  having our broken wings fly again. We wanted our broken eyes to see again. To be free.

 

Blackbird singing in the dead of night
Take these broken wings and learn to fly
All your life- You were only waiting for this moment to arise

 

Blackbird singing in the dead of night
Take these sunken eyes and learn to see
All your life- You were only waiting for this moment to be free

 

The power of music. 

 

 

 

Please note

 I was unable to find copyright info for the pictures this time. If there is a problem please let me know and I will gladly give credit or remove the pictures.

 

Swimming Time

My friend and I have been going swimming on the past two Tuesdays.

There is an organization in the city that arranged for one of the city pools to be closed to the public between 5 pm and 8 pm on Tuesday and open for disabled people to come and swim for free along with assistants if needed!

When we went two weeks ago Shawn and I were not too sure what we were getting into but though the worse that could happen would be that we would sit and chat and wait for our rides to come to take us back home. It turned out that I was worrying for nothing. Everything was great. There were not very many people so that made me happy because a lot of noise and movement really bothers me. We changed in a large accessible family area with great accessible showers and bathrooms and then we proceeded to the pool area. There was no wheelchair lift for Shawn. Instead, she transferred to a water proof wheelchair since the pool has a ramp that goes straight into the water. It was so much fun to watch Shawn roll into the water all by herself and basically swim out of the chair! The water is pretty warm at about 83 degrees. We chatted with a couple of other ladies and swam around and this week played with pool noodles.

Shawn and I have the same physiotherapist and he was thrilled to find out that we are voluntarily getting out there and being active. It is so cold right now that it is hard to get out much and do any kind of walking or any other kind of exercise, but this was such a treat to be moving and playing. We are going to try and go every week and I think we have already convinced two more people to come with us next week.

My First Guitar Lesson

I had my very first guitar lesson yesterday. In fact it was my first music lesson in 35 years. I have taken my kids to many many lessons and I have paid attention but this time it was all for me. As a child I learned piano and I wasn't bad at it. Then there were all the years of accompaning my string playing kids so it is not like I haven't played an instrument in all this time.

After my stroke I tried to play the piano again and it has been an absolute failure. I even got the piano tuned hoping that would magically help. The fact is that my right and left hands are still not working at the same speed. My short term memory is also not very reliable so I keep needing to relearn any sections of the music. Another rather awful development with this stroke is that I became very sensitive to certain pitches and loud sounds, to certain lights and other strong stimuli; music has not been the soothing, joyful part of my life it once was. I have really missed turning to the comfort of my music but now my tolerance is slowly building back up again.

I am very fortunate that my left had is now working again. It is sluggish moving and to me it kind of feels like it is swollen. I have some trouble stretching it, I have a lack of strength and the other problem is that every once in a while my hand will clamp down in a death grip on objects I am holding when I least expect it. I need to use my other hand to peel my fingers off the object or poor persons hand.

The Therapy Mantra seems to be --- It you can move that body part .. do so.
If you would like more on that topic please see Peter Levine's very helpful blog-- The Stroke Recovery Blog.

My loss in ability on the piano is beyond frustrating and more than I can deal with right now. My right hand goes to fly on with the music and left hand is just out of sync with fingering.. a lot behind, and slowing down the tempo really doesn't seem to solve the issue.

Okay sooooo-

• I am thinking Guitar is new and different and no expectations from previous performance levels.

• I really like quiet classical guitar music.

• We have a nice guitar of my daughters around not being used.

• I want my hand to be moving easier

• I NEED to work on my memory skills.

I heard of a nice , very experienced teacher at a local music school and yesterday I went to meet him for my first lesson.

So far so good. Most of it was doable, but it will require a lot of work on my part to become more fluid when playing. I think the teacher was a little surprised when he asked me what I was looking for in music lessons and I told him "Mainly therapy". He was good with that part though, and seems like a very patient man. He was having trouble working on adjusting to the fact that he had to help me get my guitar packed and up the stairs. I couldn't manage to go up and down the stairs to his studio and carry the guitar at the same time.

It had never crossed my mind that the place would not be accessible. Maybe it is just as well I didn't realize about the stairs or I would not have given it a shot, but we solved the problems one way or another.

I think guitar with my new teacher Rob is going to work out.

Fire Alarms

It was a busy day at Easy Street with 3 appointments back to back. Each appointment today is worth its own post but I had an incident that really threw me.

We were just finishing up in Physiotherapy and reviewing what I need to do for homework when a fire alarm went off for the hospital. The sound absolutely got to me. I was not panicked or worried about a fire, it was really the physical sound that hit me so hard. I remember saying I can't stand this! I had trouble talking and felt kind of like I was being hit in the side of the head. There was an almost instant pain in my left ear like I had a bad ear infection. It was time to head to the next appointment but the space was kind of locked down so I was grateful to just sit for a few more minutes and try to pull myself together until the all clear bell rang.

My balance was gone, I was dizzy and thought that I was going to vomit. All the people rushing around after the delay was tough to watch too and aggravated the situation even more. My physiotherapist walked me back and it was so challenging I needed her help a lot. It was like the past 12 months worth of work and progress had vanished. We got to the other side offices for my next appointment and my therapist brought me some water and I just sat.

I was pretty useless for the first part of the appointment. I had huge amount of pain in my ear and in my eye by that point and even my face felt horrible. It slowly settled into just a horrible headache and I was able to see better. I think it was close to an hour after the alarm before my equilibrium started to improve and I could focus on my dietician. The cab ride home was hard but I was coping okay right until he decided to back up for several houses. I could hardly get out of the cab and it was another half hour before the nausea settled down.
In the evening after a long rest I felt able to go to Canadian Tire with Bob. I was tired, and still had a lingering earache, but felt okay. I bent over to look at a product tag that was upside down and woosh I was collapsing again.

This morning I am feeling fine, the ear ache is gone, and I am back to what is now normal for me but I feel pretty thrown by the whole experience. I have been doing so well and feeling more confident in myself, but that I could have found myself so miserable and incapacitated with just the sound of an alarm is very disconcerting to me. The world is feeling a little less safe today than it was yesterday morning.