Too Much Stress, Updates and some Whining

 Hello Friends! 

I have been busy lying low for the past couple of months. I must admit that I kind of went into a tailspin and just reached a point where my emotional and physical reserves reached a breaking point. The name of this blog, Leading A Healthy Life, has felt more than a little ironic lately.

 The injury to my hip on December 22 was very traumatic, but it was only the last straw. 

 I thought I could keep busy at home post hip dislocation, and I was going to try and use that time at home in some constructive way and hoped to share my projects here. I really found it difficult to do anything. I couldn't even sit in a regular chair or at a table. I was either lying flat on my back in bed or in a raised recliner. I wasn't in a ton of pain, but I was really uncomfortable all the time, and because of wearing that hip brace 24 hours a day, even at night, I was pretty sleep-deprived. It seems that I want to roll over a lot, and you can't in a contraption like that brace. I didn't like being dependent on my husband and daughters for many basic things, such as washing my hair and dressing. One of the most irritating things is that I seem to always be dropping stuff, and I need a lot of help picking all those things up. 

I watched a lot of TV and YouTube. Bob got us a new  TV while I was in the hospital, It is a new smart one for my side of the bed, and I watched for hours. There was nowhere to walk to, no exercises I was allowed to do, no meaningful work I could do, and no friends to visit due to covid restrictions. I haven't even seen my son and grandkids in almost 8 months, and they live only a half-hour away from me. My eldest daughter is a province away, and there are many quarantine restrictions about crossing the provincial borders, so I have not seen her in almost a year.

 There have been a lot of health issues and other stresses going on for our family in the past year and it has really been getting to me. I know that so many people have it worse than us, and we do keep those who are suffering and have lost loved ones and their homes and jobs in our prayers and thoughts. I am indeed very grateful for a loving family and good care, and lots of available resources. 

 I had 2 minor surgeries this past year - one for a large painful cyst, a lipoma, in my back and another procedure to remove a very large bleeding precancerous growth in my colon and I had to deal with anemia related to that condition. The followups are all looking great. 

One daughter was supposed to have her gallbladder out and was frequently in a lot of pain. Still, the surgery was put on hold from November due to hospital closures until a few weeks ago. She had surgery 2 weeks ago and is still uncomfortable but recovering slowly.

The other daughter had a severe shoulder injury due to a workplace injury. After a lot of difficulties, she was finally diagnosed correctly, but her surgery was also delayed. She eventually had the surgery but will be left with permanent limitations in her range of motion. She went back to university (zoom classes) because she will need to find a new occupation.

 I was supposed to have a knee replacement in January, but that will be on hold for a while until I am doing better with my hip recovery. I don't have a tentative date yet, but it will happen. They need to catch up with covid related delays in elective surgeries and any further covid shutdowns with the hospitals.  

Work has been horrifically difficult this past year. Covid 19 has hit nursing homes especially hard. When you are a recreation person, you are the substitute for friends and family while still being part of the health care team. We try to bring some comfort during these heartbreaking times that are filled with so much fear and loss, and loneliness. Many of our people suffer from dementia and can't understand all that is happening but most certainly are aware of the changes and anxiety around them. We heard about staff dying from covid in other facilities just a few miles from us, and we worried about what is in store for us.  In many ways it is good to not be at work during Covid but I really do miss it. I miss planning activities that are helpful for people and I miss the residents and  my many wonderful co-workers. I know everyone is well cared for but it is hard to shake the feeling that I ought to be there doing my part. It is very hard to putting my own recovery first even though there is no way I physically would be a help at work. I keep telling myself it is like the airplanes. Grab that' oxygen mask first or you can't help other people.  Self care is complicated sometimes. 

One significant stressor has been a rental property we own. We have a 2-bedroom house I inherited from my dad that I rent out as an important part of my income. That went very bad to this past year when the Government made it impossible to kick tenants out during Covid or charge any overdue fees. The tenants just stopped paying rent. They did a tremendous amount of damage to the house, such as breaking doors and door frames, dog feces everywhere, gouged walls, cement poured down drains ruining the plumbing.. you get the idea. It has taken us almost all of the past 3 months to get it fit to rent out again. I couldn't help with repairs and cleaning because of my hip, and I was frustrated and angry beyond belief. There we were trying to deal with the financial fallout happening to our family. I can't track her down to collect any of the money she owes me. I was notified just yesterday by the government-run water utility company that they also can't track down the tenant. Therefore they are legally allowed to tack her water utility bill of over $1500 onto my property taxes. It will be payable in full with my billing next month. I sat there stunned and yelled at the letter, "That is just not fair! I am not a big corporation... just someone with their dad's house!"

Okay, My Whining is Over, for the moment anyway.

The update is:

• I am now 2 weeks out of the hated brace, and I started physiotherapy 3 days ago. I like my new physiotherapist and think she is just right for my recovery needs. 
• The rental house has new tenants as of 2 weeks ago, so that chapter is over.  
• Our daughters are both recovering well. 
•  I have lost some weight and feel pretty happy about that, and I really enjoy wearing some different-sized clothing.
• I got the first dose of the Covid 19 vaccine- AstraZeneca, and the second will be in June. Bob will get his vaccination in a week.
• The city pools finally opened up 14 days ago. I got into an arthritis aquatic group class with a max of 10 people located in a very big pool with a lot of room to distance. I can't do many of the exercises, and Di, our fearless leader, keeps her eye on me. It feels wonderful to walk and move in the water,
• I hope to be back at work on modified duty in a few weeks, so hopefully, that goes well. My supervisor is sounding supportive and happy about my return.

And People .. it is Spring! The time for new beginnings! 

How I am Doing 9 months after a Hip Replacement?

It has been 9 months since I had hip replacement surgery because of osteoarthritis.

I am glad I had the surgery, There is a huge reduction in my pain level, and my mobility has increased a lot. My leg feels much more stable when I step on it.  Basically, I feel safer. My hip had been so bad that it literally was dislocated and locking funny and I just didn't know what would happen with the next step.

How am I doing now? I am so glad I had the surgery but there is still some discomfort, and my endurance is still, really lousy, and things like getting into a van are challenging.  Maybe I should be exercising more, maybe more time with the physiotherapist or massage therapist would help. I have not been slacking off.. but have I really done enough?

I recently looked at a graph about recovery after hip replacement, and it shows that recovery continues at a pretty good rate until about month 6 and after that, it slows down but still continues at a more modest rate for the full year post surgery.
I wonder about this graph. Is it that people are almost fully recovered at six months and are fully satisfied with where they are or do they become complacent and decide to just live with it, believing this is their new normal? Or perhaps this is as good as it is going to get. Maybe the law of diminishing returns is working, and a large amount of work required for further recovery just isn't worth the energy for the degree of improvement they are seeing.

When I had some muscle issues shortly after the surgery I was put back on bedrest and told to be very careful, so my initial recovery plan went out the window, and I got to baby myself. Pain management was bad.  I think I got into the habit of being very gentle with myself. The phrase "No Pain - No Gain is ridiculous. Exercise should not cause pain.. discomfort yes, exhaustion probably but not outright pain! But maybe I have been scared to see where that line between pain and discomfort lays in my case, and I am a little reluctant to take chances.

I find that I am not leading as active a life as I want to.

I am back at work doing my regular shifts. When I am actually doing things at work, I get a bit of an adrenaline rush and keep going and then once I go home after work I need some painkillers and I act like a wet noodle. My most significant effort at home after the workday is deciding whether I need an icepack because my hip and but muscles are swelling again or a heating pad because my lower back muscles toward the hip are so sore and tense. My arthritic left knee is not too happy either. My gait has improved with this hip surgery, but my poor muscles are having a hard time keeping up with all these changes that I am asking of them -  even though the actual mechanics are so much better.

Girl Guiding is affected too. After the surgery, I was hoping I could handle a winter (indoor sleeping) camp with the teenagers in our group that was planned for January. There was no way I could manage slugging around in the snow let alone sleeping in a different and probably uncomfortable bed. The cold seems like a terrible idea too.

Work around the house is improving, and I am getting up and down the basement stairs better than I have in a decade, but  I am still not able to go down with my arms full of laundry. I need to hang on to the rails with both hands.

I am still going to the pool for an arthritis group class, and I always have a better and more mobile day after my class. It makes me believe there is hope for me yet!

What next? I'm really not sure at the moment but I know I must keep moving.

Pool Time for Me

I have to do all I can in the next 4 months to get myself in as good shape as possible before this hip surgery.

I have done so much over the past few years to try and keep moving and I think I did pretty well but the past year has frankly been very painful. It is hard to move and my leg does not physically move properly anymore. I have become less active and less mobile every month.

The hip and knee surgery orientation program I attended and now the surgeon stressed that exercise is essential to get the hip and leg muscles as healthy as possible. There is a list of exercises, a video of exactly what exercises they want you to do daily plus the suggestion that walking in water was very beneficial. There were also suggestions that losing weight makes a huge difference both now, during the actual surgery and for recovery.

I have been going to a Wednesday water Tai Chi program sessions for the past year and really love it. That is more stretching and balance time and not really a calorie burner. I am now committing to go to the pool at least 3 times a week but trying my best to go 4 times counting the Tai Chi class. I even paid up and got a city pass for 3 months of unlimited access to the city facilities.

I must admit I have not been at all good about the video set of exercises because it hurts a lot and I really don't care for the start-stop style of the video. Tomorrow I start!

As far as the weight goes. sighhhh. I was a heavy 10-year-old and a very heavy adult. I think I was 11 when I was put on my first diet. I have gained and lost so much weight, tried so many diets and received a lot of support but it is still a big issue. I lost a lot of weight, though not enough, when I got sick 9 years ago and thank goodness I have not gained all that weight back but I did gain back way too much.

What I am going to do for the next 4 months is try and keep my calorie count under control and try to have a lower carb diet and increase the protein. I plan to use the SPARK People online app to count calories and for support. They do a detailed report each day of the nutrition and calories you eat that day. I am surprised to see how far off I am with things like magnesium, potassium, iron and calcium.  We do eat pretty high-quality nutritious meals but it is obvious that on a low-calorie diet you sure have to be very diligent to get the macro and micronutrients to stay at a healthy level.

Who knows, by the end of the summer I might be in less pain, moving better, thinner and with a new wardrobe! 

Then we will see about my knees.

Summer is Coming

Summer is Coming

What are the 3 things you look forward to the most in the summer?

Whether it’s travel, the weather, family cookouts or another activity,

share with your readers why you’re excited for summer! #HAWMC

 

 

Oh Summer!

What do I look forward to?

What good is the warmth of summer,
without the cold of winter to give it sweetness.
~John Steinbeck

Not freezing

 

In summer we do not have to dress in layers, put on boots, or worry about where our hats and mitts are hiding. This is probably saying more about what I dislike about winter than what I like about summer. Really weather affects your moods so much. Longer days, with increased sunshine and warmth make for pleasant easy days. You can walk safely outside with less chance of slipping. Life is just so much ... umm warmer!

 

Spending time in our yard and parks



Jasper smiling in our backyard.



container gardens in the yard

 

 

Time at our beloved little island cottage

Watching ducklings by the dock

Basking on the boat with the wind in our hair.

Peaceful evenings in front of our Cottage

 

Goal Setting

I read that New Year's resolutions are not good things because they often lead to disappointment.  Your firm decision to change something is not enough by itself; you need to set actual goals and not just any kind of goal either. You need to make... "SMART ones".  A resolution is not worth much without a plan behind it.

The graphic summarizes this form of goal setting very nicely.

Most of my occupational therapy sessions involved setting and achieving goals and I think I got pretty good at it. I completed a lot of goals while moving toward recovery, goals like walking and learning how to cook again. At one point I even had a goal to use the computer to made myself cute worksheets to help me set goals!

Moving forward with recovery and self-improvement projects on my own is a little more challenging. My life is increasingly busy with the details of everyday life and I no longer have my weekly appointment with my OT to help focus on my goals. I liked having my regular appointments with small deadlines to work toward and I liked having someone listen to me share my accomplishments. Basically I like feedback and a little bit of praise once in a while. Trying to keep up the momentum on my own is much harder, but I know that I now have the ability and the tools to move toward my next goals.

Pete Levine recently wrote a post about task specific training for recovery.  He states, "don't let survivors forget what most motivates them. The most powerful tools live inside the survivor." Pete's whole article is very interesting but that particular phrase caught my attention. I was intrigued with the idea of reflecting on why I would choosing certain goals in the first place and what motivates me to keep working toward those goals.  I think it starts with how you see yourself and on your personal values and aptitudes but such self-awareness takes thought. I think my values have not changed much over the years but how I see myself has changed through the process of recovery.  I never would have called myself determined before, and I never though of myself as hard working but I am proud to have discovered these and other strengths over the past few years. This new awareness gives me the courage to try even more new things.

The real value in New Year's resolutions might be that you have an opportunity to review what you want to change. Hopefully you will also have an opportunity to reflect with pride on what you have accomplished in the past year. If you know what motivates you I think you can determine your goals and then find strategies that will keep you moving forward towards accomplishing your objectives and perhaps even few dreams.

For more information about Smart Goals and for the source of the above graphic please see 
 http://www.projectsmart.co.uk/smart-goals.html.

It has a free "smarter goals template" on that page that is pretty useful.

Linda's Goals for 2012

Exercise Goal --- continue with my weekly group water therapy and Tai Ji and add in active living sessions 3 times a week

Nutrition Goal --- plan meals and food ahead of time and record what I eat.  My weight is an issue.

Guitar --- practice 5 days a week and NOT have expectations for how much I can progress

Computer Skills --- work through the Photo-shop textbook I have and hopefully later this year I can register for the community college course I was forced to drop when I got sick.

Photography Skills --- I am trying to take pictures every week and I want to try and do some online theme challenges.

Job Rehabilitation --- I am not sure where this is going yet but I will continue to work with the Society for Manitobans with Disabilities and see where that leads me.

Home Organization --- I still need to make a plan for this one, but we have a lot of clutter to deal with in our home.

Propeller

Our boat propeller has taken a beating over the summer. 

We have a brand new one on order.

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OOPPPS!!
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I was aiming at putting this post on my lake blog but got myself confused and uploaded it to the wrong blog!   Well I hope you enjoy my pretty photograph.  I just love the grays of the water.

I am having a tired, mistake making kind of day. I have been too busy lately. I do that. I have trouble finding my limits and gadging my energy level until it is too late. I am lasting through longer days, but I find the next day I am tired and cranky and make a lot of mistakes and drop a lot of things. 
I had swimming therapy group at 9:00 this morning and I wasn't at my best there either; I lost my balance more than once. One time I wound up with the aquatic therapist grabbing me from under the water to try and get me upright. She told me "It is not wise to keep smiling when you are going under.. close your mouth!".

I think I will go have a nap before I try and do anything more on the computer today.

Summer at the Lake

I am spending a fair bit of time at the lake right now. Cottage life is a real gauge for me of how much I am improving. You tend to not see changes when you are dealing with your day to day life, but at the cottage I am comparing my activities to what they were last summer.  I told a lady at my Stroke Recovery Support Meeting that I was going to the lake and her response was something of a harsh .. "nice for you just getting to relax at the lake.".  It couldn't be farther from the truth. I don't want to spend my days just relaxing,  I want to cook fun meals, I want to chop wood for the fireplace.  I want to go swimming,  hiking and boating and I want to be helping with the work of repairing and maintaining the cottage. I work very hard to towards those goals and I participate as much as I am able.

My cottage is a little primitive to say the least, but it is the place in the world that makes me the happiest. It is the only cottage on a 5 acre island, and is run on solar energy with a propane stove and BBQ and no fridge. We have had the place for 28 years now and mainly we putter with it making tiny changes each summer. Now we are at the point where we are starting to redo the repairs we made when we first bought the place. The walls are creaking, the paint outside is peeling, the floor is slanting a little, and dock boards need replacing.

 Last year I literally had trouble walking over the floor because of a little slant. This year I only notice it when I am overtired. The 5 steps to get in the cottage are a bit rickety and steep but this year, as long as I am holding the rail I do okay. Midnight trips to the outhouse involved waking up my husband to get me down the back stairs and over a few feet of rocky terrain, This year we understand my problems so much better. We have changed the step and added a whole lot of solar lighting and I can cope on my own much to my families "night time relief".



My other huge issue has been getting in and out of the boat at the docks. We have just resurfaced the mainland dock and there is a dock pole in the just the right spot to hang onto. The dock still needs a bit of leveling but having an even, secure surface is just wonderful! Both docks are solid docks, not floating, and once I get up on it I stop and take a minute to stop feeling dizzy from the upward move.  Getting in and out of the dock is not the simple matter of hopping over the side that it once was and now I need a hand getting out, but this year it doesn't involve 2 peoples help. Last year we needed one person in the boat with me acting as a counter weight and supporting my hip and someone on the dock pulling me upward. It usually wound up with me crying and wanting to vomit.

Next weekend I am going to try swimming in the lake again. Last year I got in the water only one time with great difficulty and once I was in the water I found myself unable to tolerate the movements of tiny little waves against my body. 

A couple days ago my husband installed a swimming pool ladder onto the end of our dock. When he  put it in we found it actually touched a flat rock at the bottom so when I climb  down  I will only be in at thigh deep on about a 2 foot wide rock platform.  All the rest of the way along the dock is deep enough to dive off of.  I think the ladder will make all the difference in my being able to get in and out of the water.  When I was doing pool therapy last year my physiotherapist and the aquatic therapist felt it was a safety issue for me so we put a lot of energy into figuring out how to  use a ladder and get in and out of the pool safely using a ladder and not just ramps or steps.


Here is my to do list for next weekend:

• cut up some more kindling with my clippers

• go swimming using my new ladder

• help lay laminate flooring on my screen porch

• do my at home physio exercises

• practice Guitar. (I have hardly practiced all summer)

• play a card game (think cognitive therapy-- still very hard for me and not a lot of fun)

• work a bit on a little craft for Christmas

• If time and weather allows- help husband paint small bedroom OR power wash our huge dock

Linda-- Fall 2010

And yes, I will still find time to lounge in my adirondack chair on the dock while reading a magazine, and we will sit on our screen porch and enjoy a relaxing candle lit dinner while watching the sun set.

Swimming Time

My friend and I have been going swimming on the past two Tuesdays.

There is an organization in the city that arranged for one of the city pools to be closed to the public between 5 pm and 8 pm on Tuesday and open for disabled people to come and swim for free along with assistants if needed!

When we went two weeks ago Shawn and I were not too sure what we were getting into but though the worse that could happen would be that we would sit and chat and wait for our rides to come to take us back home. It turned out that I was worrying for nothing. Everything was great. There were not very many people so that made me happy because a lot of noise and movement really bothers me. We changed in a large accessible family area with great accessible showers and bathrooms and then we proceeded to the pool area. There was no wheelchair lift for Shawn. Instead, she transferred to a water proof wheelchair since the pool has a ramp that goes straight into the water. It was so much fun to watch Shawn roll into the water all by herself and basically swim out of the chair! The water is pretty warm at about 83 degrees. We chatted with a couple of other ladies and swam around and this week played with pool noodles.

Shawn and I have the same physiotherapist and he was thrilled to find out that we are voluntarily getting out there and being active. It is so cold right now that it is hard to get out much and do any kind of walking or any other kind of exercise, but this was such a treat to be moving and playing. We are going to try and go every week and I think we have already convinced two more people to come with us next week.