Comfort Foods and Carrot Cakes

What is your favourite comfort food? 

 "Our Favorite Foods" has been a topic with my family and friends lately.
What foods trigger your happy memories?  Did your grandma make a special treat just for you? What kind of things did you first learn to cook? Have you shared meals that were special dates with your partner? Did you have a favourite restaurant? Our sense of smell and taste connect to our memories in very special and sometimes emotional ways.

My husband and I started dating very young; in fact, I was still in high school. The convenient place to go was a little 10 table restaurant about a 10-minute walk from my house at the end of my street. We almost always got a pepperoni and mushroom pizza. I don't remember how we originally came to make that pizza choice, but it was a decade later before we realized that neither of us really loved that type of pizza and we were just ordering it to make the other happy. That pizza is now a comfort food for both of us because it was part of a happy, loving and secure time with a full future ahead of us.


In difficult times like we are experiencing now, people are looking for comfort and security as they try to deal with the emotional and physical stress around them. Food is one thing we need to deal with each day, so it is natural to try and make choices that give us comfort.

People are currently challenged by problems obtaining food from stores. We are concerned about making our food healthy and nutritious and as the true economic impact is becoming apparent we also want to look at getting the most for our money. More people are finding time to cook while sheltering in place, and we are trying to use what we already have in our homes.  I keep thinking of the families before us that survived the great depression and the shortages and rationing that occurred during the war years.  They found amazing ways to work with what they had and working together rose to the challenge of getting through those difficult times.

A month ago, on a cold Manitoba day, my coworker and I made homemade vegetable soup at work with our seniors. It was an enjoyable experience getting a 10 out of 10 from participants. The warm smell of soup in the hallway was enticing to everyone going past. We had leftover uncooked carrots, and that generated a whole discussion about what we should do with those carrots. Make more soup? Stew? Then someone said Carrot Cake and the rest was history. There was a massive agreement that the best thing to do with carrots was to make a cake! That followed with a discussion about what is the best way to make a carrot cake. Will it be raisins or walnuts, cinnamon or nutmeg, and how about icing?

I have a lot of carrots in my home right now, so I dug out my own favourite simple carrot cake recipe. The house smells Yummy. Give it a try, use what you have and change it up to make it your own. I like to make it as a loaf or as cupcake/muffins for extra easy snacks. This recipe freezes very well too.

The Coopers' Carrot Cake

Ingredients:

• 3/4 cup sugar
• 1 cup canola oil 
• 3 eggs
• 1/2 tsp vanilla

• 1  1/3 cup  all-purpose flour
• 1  1/2 tsp baking powder 
• 1  1/2 tsp baking soda
• 1/2 tsp salt
• 1  1/2 tsp cinnamon
• 1/2 tsp nutmeg

• 2 cups grated carrots

Method
Preheat the oven to 350° F or 180° C

• Beat the sugar and oil in your mixing bowl 
• Continue beating and add the eggs one at a time
• Add vanilla
• Add in the next 6 dry ingredients
• Stir to mix
• Add in the grated carrots
  
• Pour your batter into a greased 9 by 13 cake pan. 
• Cook for about 40 to 45 minutes until a toothpick comes out clean from the center. 
  
• Let cool and then frost if desired.

Basic Cream Cheese Frosting

Ingredients:

• 8 oz brick of softened cream cheese  
• 1/4 cup of butter 
• 1 tsp vanilla 
• 2 cups icing sugar

Method

• Using an electric mixer, combine the cream cheese, butter and vanilla  in your mixing bowl
• Add icing sugar and beat until it is fluffy 
• Frost your cake. 

Note that you can add other flavourings to your frosting, and you can stir in other items at the end. One of my favorites is to substitute coconut flavouring for the vanilla, and beat in some shredded coconut  to make a cute Easter cupcake treat, especially if you add mini chocolate eggs on top.

Carrot image courtesy of Pixsabay

How I am Doing 9 months after a Hip Replacement?

It has been 9 months since I had hip replacement surgery because of osteoarthritis.

I am glad I had the surgery, There is a huge reduction in my pain level, and my mobility has increased a lot. My leg feels much more stable when I step on it.  Basically, I feel safer. My hip had been so bad that it literally was dislocated and locking funny and I just didn't know what would happen with the next step.

How am I doing now? I am so glad I had the surgery but there is still some discomfort, and my endurance is still, really lousy, and things like getting into a van are challenging.  Maybe I should be exercising more, maybe more time with the physiotherapist or massage therapist would help. I have not been slacking off.. but have I really done enough?

I recently looked at a graph about recovery after hip replacement, and it shows that recovery continues at a pretty good rate until about month 6 and after that, it slows down but still continues at a more modest rate for the full year post surgery.
I wonder about this graph. Is it that people are almost fully recovered at six months and are fully satisfied with where they are or do they become complacent and decide to just live with it, believing this is their new normal? Or perhaps this is as good as it is going to get. Maybe the law of diminishing returns is working, and a large amount of work required for further recovery just isn't worth the energy for the degree of improvement they are seeing.

When I had some muscle issues shortly after the surgery I was put back on bedrest and told to be very careful, so my initial recovery plan went out the window, and I got to baby myself. Pain management was bad.  I think I got into the habit of being very gentle with myself. The phrase "No Pain - No Gain is ridiculous. Exercise should not cause pain.. discomfort yes, exhaustion probably but not outright pain! But maybe I have been scared to see where that line between pain and discomfort lays in my case, and I am a little reluctant to take chances.

I find that I am not leading as active a life as I want to.

I am back at work doing my regular shifts. When I am actually doing things at work, I get a bit of an adrenaline rush and keep going and then once I go home after work I need some painkillers and I act like a wet noodle. My most significant effort at home after the workday is deciding whether I need an icepack because my hip and but muscles are swelling again or a heating pad because my lower back muscles toward the hip are so sore and tense. My arthritic left knee is not too happy either. My gait has improved with this hip surgery, but my poor muscles are having a hard time keeping up with all these changes that I am asking of them -  even though the actual mechanics are so much better.

Girl Guiding is affected too. After the surgery, I was hoping I could handle a winter (indoor sleeping) camp with the teenagers in our group that was planned for January. There was no way I could manage slugging around in the snow let alone sleeping in a different and probably uncomfortable bed. The cold seems like a terrible idea too.

Work around the house is improving, and I am getting up and down the basement stairs better than I have in a decade, but  I am still not able to go down with my arms full of laundry. I need to hang on to the rails with both hands.

I am still going to the pool for an arthritis group class, and I always have a better and more mobile day after my class. It makes me believe there is hope for me yet!

What next? I'm really not sure at the moment but I know I must keep moving.

Back to Work Plan

I returned to my part time job this past Thursday. It was a strange feeling walking back in after having been away for almost 6 months, The people sitting on the main floor were the same as usual and the rooms looked the same. I went up the elevator and into the office and all my coworkers were in the office just finishing off their work day and they gave me a warm welcome back.

I met with my supervisor for a little while and we got me set up on the computer again and talked about a few work related things. We discussed my plan for work return.

I will be working my normal days and shifts but my 8 hour days are reduced to 6 hours. 

We talked about the variety of jobs that I could do while on restrictions. It seems there aren't established guidelines for people returning to my kind of job after a total hip replacement! (not a surprise) Really, I have been through worse so I never saw this as a career ending event in my life.

The work place has an outside agency that arbitrates things like absences, and work modifications. I have had to get 5 different doctors notes through this time and this company tells my workplace if I am or am not approved for continued absence. They also take part in administering sick benefits but unfortunately for me I do not normally work enough hours to qualify for that insurance.  

My doctor approved me for return to work for this date and I am to work shifts of 4 to 6 hours for the next month. There are some movement restrictions too. I am not to lift anything heavy, sit for over half and hour, walk for over half and hour or stand for over half an hour. This is not as big a challenge in my work as it would be in many other places just by the nature of being a recreation therapist. We go through a lot of different location, movements and tasks in the course of a program and throughout the day's work.

Next I went to visit several of the residents one to one. They were so happy to see me! I was worried that I would be forgotten but they greeted me with was real warmth and happiness to see me back and I received several hugs. Most of the residents did not know I was off for health reasons and they wanted to know where I had been so I told them that I had a new hip and I was feeling better than I had in a long time and that I was glad to be back.

I am glad to be back at my job. 

In some ways it was nice to have time home with family or just stay home and relax. Work days did not determining things like when Bob and I could go places. I actually felt very frustrated at staying home as much as I had too. Pain and healing restricted what I could do but I was still pretty bored and lonely and frustrated and watched too much reality TV.
I spent more time worrying, being aware of pain and limitations and feeling unproductive and … well just wishing someone would entertain me.  It reinforces to me how important my job really is to peoples health care and overall well being.

I missed my workplace and the people there. I am still a little worried about my movement and my safely. I am still having some pain in the hip and my back but I guess that is why a modified program is a good idea. I can continue to improve and get my strength back is a safe manner while doing my job. Its a win-win situation.

I do have to admit that after only 4 hours at work I barely made it in my front door and I went straight to my bedroom and collapsed for the rest of the evening.  My stamina has really been severely affected by this whole surgery/ recovery experience.

We will see how my 6 hour shift goes on Monday!

Fish Fry for the Seniors

Yesterday we did an interesting program at work. We had a fish fry lunch!

My co-worker, on this Fathers Day weekend shift, is a man who has a lot of past experience in leading  youth camping and other outdoor programming and he suggested that we go out on our patio and use an old fashioned Colman camp stove to cook up a fish fry! I thought that was pretty brilliant. With my camping experience we were on the same page about what a good experience this could be and how to do it!

My co-worker, D, took care of all the food aspects and I was supposed to do a few fishing games, fishing reminiscence and jokes but we didn't get all those extras fit in. I wound up spending my time inviting residents to join us for lunch and then transporting them to the patio.  I think they couldn't believe I was serious that we were having a cookout.

We have a small but  nicely treed fenced patio that is surprisingly pleasant oasis to have in our downtown facility surrounded by large buildings.  We set up a cooking station and had a picnic table set up with an old green Colman Stove. Our  menu consisted of  batter dipped cod fish fillets, bannock or fry bread and baked beans.  One fun aspect was that D. found some nice divided take out containers that we used as disposable dishes. They were perfect for our outdoor lunch. People loved sitting out on this beautiful day, listening to a favorite CD of country music, watching the camp cooking and eating such a rare style of cooking for a Personal Care Home. 

I was exhausted by 1 pm. so I was really glad we had planned an easy afternoon. My co-worker set up the dining room for watching a movie and put on a Three Stooges marathon DVD. Whoever wanted to watch it could.  This was a good choice because it is a series of very short films and on a day like Fathers Day there is a lot of coming and going of visitors, so it made it easy for people to join in at any point in the program or even for people to come and share a laugh with their loved ones.

After the Fall

I had a fall in December and hurt my back as well as my stronger  hip and leg. I kind of looked like the guy in the caution sign.. twisted at the hip and landing on my own leg and bottom.  I have not missed any work but  I was on modified duties for some time and I have been taking it very easy at home. I also have done a lot of physiotherapy and my recovery has been much slower than expected.  I only have one more appointment covered by insurance and I am nowhere near the place I was before my fall. Dealing with insurance and all the non-recovery parts of this has been a bad experience. The fact that I have issues with my other, weaker, side, including a bad arthritic knee has really interfered with the course of my recovery, my exercises, and so on. Theoretically I can put in an appeal to have an extension of insurance for the physiotherapy but the process seems very intimidating and stressful and I am not confident that I will be successful.


I can not believe what a hard time I have been having with this. I have been in a lot of pain and really feeling limited in how I move, how much I move and how fast I move.  I have been taking lots of pain medications that upsets my tummy.  I am doing better now, lots better in fact, but not enough to sleeping well or enjoying activities.  One simple example is when we went to a movie in the theatre not long ago and I found it too painful to keep seated in the theatre chair, and too hard to get up and down out if it. Walking back to the car after sitting for the show was a challenge too. At home I am once again avoiding the stairs to my basement and asking family members to do my laundry and fetch items from the storage areas for me.

Fortunately my job actually has a lot of flexibility in the actual duties. There are a few physical aspects that can not be helped, but I have spent more time doing activities like reading out loud, sitting doing nail polish and playing board games. I have been avoiding things like games where I would need to do any bending or lifting. My co-workers have been very nice about it all but they were more than ready for me to get off modified duties and for work life to get back to normal. I have been really glad that I work so few hours so that I had time to recovery in between the days I work and now I think I am handling things pretty smoothly,

Anyway a big part of why I haven't been blogging much is because the main thing I have wanted to talk about is how miserable I have been feeling and that gets boring very quickly even to me. I have to remind myself that this is far from the worst challenges I have faced and I just need to persevere once again.

I have been waiting around for most of the winter for things to be all better and now it is almost summer so it is time to suck it up and just do Stuff.  .. Now to figure out just what that Stuff might be!

The Sharing of Christmas with Seniors

Christmas was a bit different for me this year.

I wound up working on Christmas Eve day and on Christmas Day.  We gave out presents and cards to 175 residents on Christmas. I walked through the halls and from room to room jingling a wreath made up of bells while saying Ho Ho Ho and spreading Christmas Cheer.

The personal care home I work at gives residents presents on Christmas Day. Some small presents are purchased by the Recreation department with the hope of giving residents something they will be able to use and enjoy in addition to the gifts that they might receive from family and friends. Other residents' gifts are purchased for the seniors through a program called "Be a Santa to a Senior".

Seniors who are impoverished and/or isolated are referred to the program by health care professionals and agencies serving older adults.They are asked what it is they need or would like and these wishes are filled through kind donations from the community.

http://www.beasantawinnipeg.com/ 

We also gave out some cards made by children. I volunteer with Girl Guides of Canada as a leader and work with girls 12 to 15 years of age. Last year the girls signed about 100 cards for me to take to work and give the seniors as a service project.  The girls planned in September of this year to spend one of the evenings in December doing something for seniors. I was so proud to have the girls request on their own to do such a kind thing.  They spent a meeting crafting cards and they made centerpieces for a tea party at my work. The girls and Guiders loved the evening of learning new crafts while doing something nice for others.

I think it is wonderful that the girls at this young age can reach out to others in their community. They grow into the kind of wonderful people, like the participants in the Be a Santa to a Senior Program, who continue to be willing to reach out and brighten the holidays for someone they have never met.

Thank-you to all the kind, giving people who brought Christmas Joy to the seniors and others in need in their communities.

The Power of Baking

I have such strong memories of baking with my mom when I was little. Christmas was a massive push to produce huge quantities of cookies, tarts, Christmas cakes and wonderful bars and treats.  I really don't know why we needed so much when the only ones sharing goodies over the holidays were my mom, dad and me plus an uncle and aunt. I loved the excitement of baking and holiday cooking and I loved that special time with my busy working mom.

My Mother-in-law was famous for her baking. Her style was to produce tons of stuff all year round and always had the freezer stuffed. Company over? She just pulled some margarine container of cookies from the freezer. Come Christmas time she dipped into all the containers and produced lovely trays to put on her dining room table or to take to the various charity groups she supported.

When our kids were growing up we tried to bring all of the above into our traditions and added in treats and baking that were particular to our family. I took courses in making fancy cakes and I considered baking to be my hobby. I collected cookbooks, and I have more shapes of baking pans and fun tools than one would believe possible. They make me smile.

This week I feel a desperate urge to bake everything. I want to bake with my family and pass down the recipes. I want to share treats and give gifts of goodies to friends. Sometimes it is fun and sometimes it feels more like work and the cost of ingredients can get away on you.  Sometimes all the dirty baking dishes can get away on you!
 I am really busy and over committed right now and I don't have the energy for it.  I sure don't need all the calories that those lovely chocolaty treats come with. Common sense tells me the grocery store\s bakery has it covered. My daughters say lets make this favorite food or that favorite cookie. My Grandkids usually make gingerbread house with me however I haven't visited with them in weeks. Despite all this I still want to be baking!


For a while there I was physically unable to do much baking and cooking and it shot right up to the top of my rehab priorities. I worked with my occupational therapist on regaining my cooking skills and in fact I still have the goal sheets where we worked out what I wanted to accomplish and brought it down to my SMART goals.

 It was absolutely the right goal for me at the time and it worked on all those damaged skills.. hand control, planning, order of operation for activities and it even worked on my stamina! It was a useful skill. It was familiar. It was part of having a normal life. What I have recently come to understand is how complicated the idea of a "relevant" goal is.

The ladies and gentlemen in the personal care homes always enjoy the baking programs we do. For most people it is not about trying to get back skills like I was doing in rehab, but it is indeed about regaining a little bit of their former life.
Baking programs are a fun social event shared with others. The smell of the  ingredients, the act of stirring and pouring all have this sense of connecting us with a different time. The smell of the food baking and the taste of the food is evocative of the past. It is a sensory joy.
It brings us memories of shared times with family and a pride in producing and sharing something of value.  It is connecting our now with our past and giving us a sense of continuity.

When we bake we share our stories and tell about who we are.

I'm Back!

Hello!

It has been months since I blogged.  My last post  included the cliff hanger that I had received a termination notice for my job.

Yippee! I get to stay in my same job!  I had a term job while a staff person was away on maternity leave. When she decided not to return to her former position the situation changed and eventually my little part-time job turned into a permanent job. I am at work about 26 hours every two weeks plus an extra shift every once in a while.

When I thought my job was over I applied for another job as a casual employee at a different Personal Care Home and I got that job too. It is like being a substitute teacher. I get called to see if I can come in to work when regular recreation staff are on vacation or off sick. It is not ultimately a lot of hours but I am really enjoying working there too.

The other things I do each week include facilitating a weekly Art Group at the Stroke Recovery Association of Manitoba, participating in a local community choir and I am still involved with Girl Guides.  I enjoy time with family and friends and I keep trying to learn new things. 

Guitar lessons are on the back burner for now. It just felt like too much for this year but I am not giving up permanently.  I dug out a book of beginner Christmas carols and I am playing and singing away when no one is at home with me except the dog!

I still spend a lot of time really exhausted and I have a lot of joint trouble now but I keep going anyway. I am trying to be very careful how I move and trying to pace myself. It is hard though because my heart and mind wants to try everything and do everything but my body keeps saying "Enough is enough!".

I have worried a lot about what to do with this blog.

The fact is that I am not all that up front at work or in professional situations about my health, my recovery experiences or my level of disability. I am not ashamed of who I am or what I have experienced but most of the time I feel like it is just too much work to explain my life to people. I also don't want to be judged and I don't want people second guessing my professionalism or my ability to do a good job based on the fact that I have had a brain injury.

I strongly believe in advocacy for the rights of people with disabilities or special health needs and I have felt very ashamed about my unwillingness to  be open and speak up for myself.  I was worried that other Recreation Professionals would only see my weaknesses and that no one would hire me and give me a chance to show my strengths.

I have learned a lot about health, recreation and therapy in the past couple of years and I do want to share what I have learned. I have thought a lot about opening a separate blog with ideas about Therapeutic Recreation but I think being true to myself  means that I should just keep going forward with this beloved blog of mine.  I want to continue to share my personal story but I also plan to write about a broader variety of recreational and leisure activity topics, health conditions and community resources. I want to share some of the fun activities I am involved in. 

The title of my blog still works for me.
I still want to write about Leading a Healthy Life.

So Many Little Changes

I have not written for such a long time and it has been good for me to take a break from blogging. I am still working at my small part-time job and I am gradually getting used to working. It seems to have changed a lot of the little aspects of my life.

Clothing.. I need more of them. I had a jeans, sweater and t-shirt wardrobe. Now I need dress pants or active wear clothing. I need cooler dressier shirts that are good for moving in a warm building. I personally need shoes that give really good support.

Sleeping... I need to get up at 7 in the morning and I have to be well rested. I go to bed .. start thinking and then have trouble falling asleep. Lately I am back to using meditation at night to try and keep me level.

Remembering... I try so hard to remember names and other information. I think I am doing better but it is still not easy for me when the pressure is on.

Meals... I need to pack a lunch and eat in a lunch room and that still feels weird.

Co-workers... really new to me and it is fun to have co-workers to chat with who are doing similar jobs. In my last working life I had a boss and no one working with me or under me.

Swipe cards.. I have to swipe in and out at work to track my work time... that is new to me too. I live in fear of breaking or loosing the thing.

Housework.. Not one of my priorities at the moment, but we will catch up eventually.

Fitness... This has two sides to it. My endurance has shown a huge improvement. My legs and hips are building muscles. The flip side is my knee and shoulder joints are getting worse fast. Arthritis is winning and I am back to visiting my doctor.

Paychecks... Direct deposit is good. I set up an account for my earnings and the amount is going up slowly. I don't work a lot so progress is not spectacular.

 

I know that none of this stuff is too exciting or too important- just part of my days now.

 

 

 

Sick Day

Sad Pumpkin

I already missed a day of work. I was supposed to work an extra shift on Halloween and I wound up at home vomiting instead. Holidays and parties are big deals for recreation programs with a lot of extra work so my not going will have been a problem to my co-workers. Besides-- I wanted to go! The staff and residents could dress in costumes, and we had decorations, cake and treats to give out. There was a pumpkin carving contest,  a musician performing, and a bake sale with the proceeds going to the Alzheimer's association and that all sounded very exciting to me. It is a larger event with the residents families and our community invited to share in the fun.

One of the issues with working in places with a larger group of people.. is that you get exposed to a whole lot of different infectious organisms. So many residents, staff, and visitors all in one place and in closer physical contact increase your risk of picking something nasty up.  There are several categories of how disease is spread. It can be via what you are eating or drinking, by touching contaminated surfaces, by touching someone or some animal who is infected or by breathing in air that is contaminated. All the different types of microorganisms have their own particular needs for spreading and what they need to multiply.

In fall we aggravate some of the issues by closing windows and turning on forced air heating systems that circulate air from one area to another. Even with good filters the risk of air born infections increases.  People let me yell here; BEING COLD does not actually cause colds despite the common belief. Colds are caused by viruses. Period. Now being cold makes you huddle together with other people who might be infected. Being very cold can be a stress on your system and make your immune system more stressed and therefore less able to fight away that virus. Being sick with something else, being exhausted, being malnourished or on certain medications can mess with your immune system big time.

Where things get really serious is that infections can be devastating to people who have compromised immune systems. It is a real danger to so many residents of nursing homes.  There is a huge amount of effort put into sanitation efforts and other methods of preventing the spread of infections but the fact is people sneeze and cough. Visitors might not even realize they are getting sick and could still be contagious.

What can you do? Wash your hands. Use hand sanitizers.  Eat nutritious foods.  Get plenty of rest and basically try to live as healthy a life as possible.

And--- if  you are sick don't share your germs. Stay home and get better, even if it means missing the Halloween party.

Volunteer!

I have been volunteering .... A LOT! I have always been a volunteer with a variety of organizations but this was something else!

I have continued to work in the direction of getting a job someday and part of the process has involved investigating a number of different fields. I have been leaning very strongly in the direction of some kind of recreation  related job and it was recommended that I get some real life work experience through volunteering. Partly this was to prove that I really do like that kind of work, that I really can do the job and most difficult was to prove that I have the stamina to work a half day job. I was also trying to prove to myself, and my employment support team that I would be able to go to college full time next year for a certificate program.


The Hospital's Thank-you pin for Volunteer Appreciation Week

We had a really hard time finding somewhere that would let me work the number of required hours per week. To best qualify for financial assistance they wanted me to work for about 15 hours each week for a period of at least 4 weeks. Most places would have been happy to give me about 3 hours but not that many!  Eventually the decision was made that I could work at two different places and we would add up the hours.

My Employment Development Specialist  and I met with the director of the Stroke Recovery Association of Manitoba where I have been an active member over the past several years. We agreed  I would spend time volunteering in general ways and also to chair our upcoming Wheel and Walk fundraiser.

Next we met with the Volunteer Coordinator of the hospital where I received most of my therapy.
After an interview process I began volunteering in the nursing home that is part of the hospital complex. I have been helping to transport residents to programs and assisting the recreation directors with a variety of events ranging from Spiritual Care activities in the chapel to crafts, music therapy sessions, movie night and even baking cookies with some lovely seniors.

All of this ... while desperately trying to balance my normal family, and my normal volunteer commitments. The rest of the time I wanted (well maybe needed) to be a couch potato.

I did it. The volunteering was very worthwhile, very encouraging, but also challenging and exhausting. I found that a lot of the things I worried about were not issues at all, but helping with adapted curling proved to be a rather humbling experience that pointed out my limitations. [note to self-- NO more curling- adapted or otherwise]

My required time as a volunteer with these organizations is now up. I had an appointment a few days ago with the hospital volunteer coordinator and we discussed my continuance as a volunteer at the hospital.  I left with dates that I will be volunteering for the rest of May. Stroke Recovery's annual Wheel and Walk fundraiser takes place in June so I still have a lot of lot of volunteer work ahead of me.
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Graduating from Therapy

Last Friday I had my final meeting at Easy Street, that fantastic hospital rehabilitation group that was overseeing my recovery. My Social Worker and my Dietitian were the only two therapists I have seen over the past year and I haven't seen either of them for the past 5 months. I have had a couple of phone-calls and many emails keeping in touch with my wonderful Social Worker.  She has kept me in the Easy Street Rehabilitation program while we have been sorting out all the issues related to the vocational rehabilitation program and my efforts to adjust to what is the new normal for my life.

Friday afternoon I went in for a last appointment with her before I was officially discharging from their program.  She assured me that she still wants emails letting her know how my life is going.

I have spent a lot of the time in Occupational Therapy learning to set realistic goals and hopefully these skills are now part of my everyday life!

Two years ago I wrote out a list of what I thought I needed to do before being discharged. My three daughters were all in university at the time and all taking about what courses need to be completed and what last assignments needed to be accomplished before they would graduate. I felt a need to make a "grad" list too. I planned to buy myself a particular piece of jewelry from a hospital fundraiser when I finished rehab, just like university graduates buy a Grad ring.  

I may not have completed all my self-appointed assignments before I was discharged, but I have confidence that I will eventually compete most of my self appointed tasks in some fashion or another. They won't be the first "late" assignments in my life.  (grin)

Some of these items may sound a bit silly, but for me they are all meaningful.

•               Shop independently (done)

•               Cook independently (done)

•               Bake pretty cakes again (done)

•               Read for fun and have it feel like fun  (done)

•               Get my driver's license back (done)

•               Make a photo book of the hospital garden

•               Play a nice song on the guitar

•               Take part in some kind of sport or athletic challenge

•               Get the hang of Photoshop 

•               Finish an afghan I started just before I got really sick

•               Get a job

It is really kind of scary and exciting all at the same time to be officially out of the rehabilitation phase of recovery.  I know that this really is a new chapter for me.

 I still have a lot to work on ... but I am ready to be stepping out on my own.

My Vocation?

I am now onto the next phase of the Vocational Rehabilitation Program. I met with my main job counselor and another man from the job readiness department.  We reviewed how I did during the computer class; we talked more about my previous work history and we talked about what we will do next. 

The plan is that we are going to find me a part-time unpaid job that I will work at for a month. They will set it up for me and will send someone with me a few times to make sure I get all the help needed for me to do okay in the work environment. It would be like job specific occupational therapy and it will give them the ability to evaluate how I am doing in terms of my interests, abilities, physical tolerance, need for job accommodations and aids, and they will assess my work habits and behavior before making further recommendations.

 We can try a few different job placements over the next few months in order to find a job that will be a good fit for me now. This will give me job experience, a chance to sort out what kind of hours I can tolerate at a real job and a job reference. It should also be part of the process of increasing my stamina further and hopefully building up my confidence a bit more in the process.

I met with the job placement coach for a second time last week. We looked at some typical job descriptions on a volunteer job bank listing and then we started pulling together my resume.

I thought it might be hard to sort out the actual details of my resume but I was not prepared for the flood of emotions it triggered. Never mind the recent lost skills and lost jobs, I was suddenly thinking of all the poor career decisions I have made in the past and about all the things I could have achieved if I had only made different choices.  People think they have forever to make changes in their jobs and their future, but a life-threatening event makes one acutely aware of what a short time we really have on this earth and the limitations that can occur because of health and life circumstances. I pretty much fell apart for the rest of the evening thinking about lost opportunities.

It is pretty scary to work on getting a new job, in a new field, at this point in my life.


The newspaper clipart is from http://www.clipartheaven.com

One More Week of Computer Class

I have done a full month of computer classes at the Society for Manitobans with Disabilities and I only have one more week to go.  We started with Word and then moved on to Excel and Access. It has been a basic overview of those programs with enough information to know how to start a project and what potential there is in the programs. I am a MAC user so it was all pretty new to me but I have caught on very quickly. Next week's plan is to work on cover letters and resume writing and about using the Internet for job searches.

I have had spare time during class so I started trying to learn a program called OneNote. I think that program might turn out to be very helpful for me. It is a way to organize a variety of types of information in a binder style complete with tabs and extra pages. It can include pictures, video, audio clips, and you can insert documents like excel and word and it can all be dragged around to format it anyway you like.  I am starting out by using it to organize my blogging plans and resources. Tools that can help with memory and organization like this program and my iPhone are real blessings. I spend a lot of time feeling very anxious and stressed while trying to remember what I am supposed to do. I just don’t have the energy for trial and error.

I am doing very well in class. I am finding that I am comfortable with the 3 hours now and I am productive for the whole time. I am also finding the work itself much easier than I thought I would. I don't think I am having any real functional issues related to my memory and cognitive problems. Drop down menus are great visual memory triggers. It was suggested that using keyboard shortcuts is faster but I just can’t seem to remember what the function is even called, never mind the short cut for it.  I run the mouse over the tool bars and think “A ha! Yes! Click that one!” 

I have found that a few of the physical issues are bigger problems than I expected. I have had real issues keeping my left arm elevated so that I can keep typing. I have put a huge amount of work into getting my fingers moving, but clearly I do not have great control over my left shoulder, neck and I even have some issues with my elbow.  My arm just gets "tired" after a while and it keeps slipping down from the desktop keyboard and I loose control over the whole arm eventually. I am having extra arm pain, but the more distressing problem is my lack of control with extended use. I know I need a break when my hand starts to spasm. I have upped the height of the chair, lowered the screen and adjusted the armrest and I even put a little cushion on it to help keep my arm supported and elevated above the keyboard. It is a good temporary solution but I know will need to work on arm exercises once the computer class is over.

My other big problem is related to my vision.  I find it difficult to copy from an assignment page to the computer. It is hard to move my eyes back and forth very much. I got a stand for the paper, and lined up the screen beside it and I also bumped up the size of the text on the screen. I learned that I have to actually look into the distance every 5 or ten minutes and I need to get up every hour or so and walk around and give my eyes a real break. I am getting pretty bad headaches and I am sure they are because of my vision.

One of the main objectives of this program was to see if we could increase my stamina. I now last for the period of the class but I don't really seem to have increased my stamina for the day as a whole. Coping well at the course has been at the expense of my other activities. I have not had the energy to exercise or to socialize in the evening. I am very cranky a lot of the time and all I want to do is lie down by six in the evening. Even tiny household tasks have become overwhelming.  On the other hand, I feel very good having a routine and getting out of the house. I like going to the course and it has really helped my battered self-esteem.