It Got Stressful at My Home

We are all concerned about COVID 19 and what it means to each of us. 

Indeed you should be concerned because this is changing how we work and play, how we raise our children, our cleaning habits, our health, economics and relationships.

This past week, one of our adult children that live with us became very sick with a respiratory illness. We don't know for sure what is wrong because she doesn't fall under the guidelines for testing. She would need to show that she had travelled recently, that she was around someone else with COVID 19 in the past couple of weeks, attended a large event, or is a health care worker. She was directed to get to the hospital if she became unable to catch her breath or speak in sentences.

Now, this was a good set of questions when our city had no cases or when we were early on and could track every contact that one affected person had, but we are long past that, and now people are picking up the virus through community contacts. It reflects the shortage of testing kits in the city and not necessarily the need to be tested. How would she know if she was in contact with someone with COVID 19? It's not like anyone else has been tested that she might have bumped into at her physio appointment or at the Grocery store because those people probably weren't on a plane either.

I am worried about my daughter. I was in a crazy cleaning and bleaching frenzy all while trying to pull off a fun and meaningful Easter weekend, because what else was there to do? No medication to administer for this disease, no sitting around cuddling my sick and potentially contagious daughter. I was watching to see if her breathing was getting more difficult and prepared to rush to the hospital.

She is on day 8 now, and she did not reach a point where we were scared enough to try and get her to the emergency department. Some of her symptoms have let up, but she still is not breathing well and is lethargic, but one positive sign is that she is starting to cheer up a bit and act more like herself.

I work as a front line health care worker, so I was told by the health department that because a household member is sick with a respiratory illness, I could not go to work for 14 days. I do agree with this quarantine because I would never want to risk the health of our residents or my coworkers. I don't know if my daughter has a cold, flu, or COVID 19. I do know that I don't want to risk bringing any serious illnesses to work.

I have mainly been feeling upset because of how helpless and powerless I feel. 

I know a lot about different aspects of this kind of crisis through my work as a Microbiologist and my years of working for the Department of Infectious Diseases at our University Medical College. I am not in a position to use my knowledge right now. I moved on to a different kind of job that I take great joy in, but it doesn't mean my interest or knowledge of my previous field went away.

I feel helpless at home, trying to protect my family.

I feel helpless watching groups of kids saunter by my house with those essential Slurpees in their hands.

I feel helpless when I see people gathered in parking lots, chatting before lining up to going inside and get groceries. 

I feel helpless when I see my coworkers learning how to wear protective garments and adjusting to how their work has changed.

I feel helpless when I watch politicians making risky decisions that I might not agree with.

I feel helpless watching family members who are students struggling with the changing online learning method that is not really the best fit for them.

I feel helpless knowing there are so many lonely people living with depression, anxiety and fear.

I think, for the most part, I am an optimist and rather on the practical side. I am realistic about what a significant impact this pandemic will have on us as individuals and upon our world. 

I keep thinking about the Serenity Prayer, "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; Courage to change the things I can, And wisdom to know the difference."

 I will try to make a plan and then carry on; however, if my plan isn't working, I will have to accept that and adjust to our changing circumstances. I have to find the courage and do the work I need to do and help when I can. I need to care for my family when they need care and I will accept help gratefully should I need it. I need the wisdom to know what my limits are and believe me, that can be extra challenging for me some days.

I am going to keep cleaning and disinfecting my house and even my groceries, and I'm staying in place when possible and I will try to make sure everyone is eating nutritious food. I'm working on projects that make me happy, and some that might even help my family and others. There are a ton of online group activities and even credit courses that I am participating in online, and of course, there is facetime chatting with friends. Most of all, I will treasure this extra time with my family.

Basically, I am still doing the best I can to be Leading a Healthy Life.

photo credit Pixabay